


Please Hold While I Connect You

by froofie



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: Being a woman, F/M, Fantasy, Masturbation, Phone Sex, Red Pants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 09:49:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froofie/pseuds/froofie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long-distance late night phone call from Benedict Cumberbatch proves to be very informative...and brilliantly naughty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Hold While I Connect You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [qhuaylover](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=qhuaylover), [i_ship_an_armada](https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_ship_an_armada/gifts).



> I suppose the best creative endeavors aren't planned. This one just sort of came out of nowhere in an afternoon. I'm happy it did.
> 
> Pants = Underwear in this story.
> 
> I patterned this conversation after the book "Vox" by Nicholson Baker. Highly recommend this book/author. It's basically just one long phone sex conversation but the topics ebb and flow as time ticks by. Incredibly sexy, observant and smart.

-Click-  
  
Hello?  
  
Hey!  
  
Hey there, wasn’t expecting a call from you. It’s late here, it must be really late for you.  
  
We had a shoot until midnight so I’m just tucking in after a nice dinner.  
  
What’d you have?  
  
Burger, no bun.  
  
Fries?  
  
[Sigh] I wish. Salad.  
  
Was there at least cheese on the burger?  
  
Oh yeah.  
  
Good boy.  
  
How was your day?  
  
Good. Fine. Maid stopped in to clean. Found your red pants in the couch cushion.  
  
Whoops!  
  
Yeah, “Whoops” is right. Kinda wish I wasn’t around when she discovered them. But I saw her carrying them with a ten foot pole from the living room to the laundry basket. Couldn’t look her in the eye after that.  
  
*deep throated chuckle* [Pause.] That was a fun night.  
  
Yes. It was.  
  
[Silence]  
  
What time are you called on set tomorrow?  
  
Uhh....[papers rustling] 10am.  
  
Oh, that’s not too bad. You’ll get maybe seven hours sleep then.  
  
That’s what I’m hoping.  
  
Well, should I let you go?  
  
Oh, not just now. I’m still wide awake at this point. Takes a while to shake off the role.  
  
Well, you sound perfectly “Benedict-y” to me.  
  
Oh, good. You know I don’t like to let the characters rub off on me and then onto you, so to speak.  
  
Eh, sometimes it can be nice, right?  
  
[laughs] In small doses, yes. [Pause. Big relaxed inhale] I miss you.  
  
I miss you, too. I saw a picture of you online today. New promo for the movie?  
  
The one with my shirt open and my hair in my face?  
  
Yeah.  
  
Yes, I think that’s new. Took that one a while ago, I guess they’re starting the promo stuff now. I never know when that stuff goes out, except when I start getting texts and emails from everybody all at once when it hits.  
  
I’m surprised no one’s contacted you about it. Not even Adam? Weird. Well, it’s a hot photo, Ben.  
  
You think?  
  
Oh yeah. I mean, you’re in character behind your eyes, so that’s the only thing missing for me, you know, “You,” but the whole photo is, um...how do you say? ....Ah yes.... sexy.  
  
[Laughs] Oh God I miss you.  
  
We’ve established that, but I’ll continue to agree with the sentiment. [Pause]. Oh, weird.  
  
What?  
  
There’s this young black girl walking in front of the house singing spirituals at the top of her lungs. She’s quite good, but damn it’s late.  
  
Well, God is always listening I suppose.  
  
Yeah, and I suppose [movement sounds] God would also want me to close the shades if I’m going to be walking around the house half naked.  
  
And, um, just which half of you IS naked?  
  
[chuckle] Why, Mr. Cumberbatch, are you asking me What am I wearing?  
  
[Exhaled smile] Oh, well, I suppose if I’m to sympathize with your situation of flashing the neighborhood children on their midnight caroling jaunt, then I might need to have more details to create a vivid picture.  
  
Well, if you must know...I may or may not have washed your red pants and I may or may not be wearing them on my person.  
  
And would you may or may not be wearing anything else?  
  
I may or may not be wearing your grey hoodie.  
  
And just so I’m clear on the visual, what are you wearing underneath my hoodie?  
  
[Pause] Not a thing.  
  
I, um. [Pause] And is there any other detail that you would like to pass my way about the specifics of your state of undress at this very moment?  
  
Ummm....no.  
  
So, my darling, if I am correct, you are walking around our home,  
  
Our very clean home...  
  
Yes, our very clean home, in my underwear...

Your clean underwear...

My clean underwear...

Yes

And my hoodie?

Yes.

[Pause] Is the hoodie zipped?  
  
I would call it “half-mast”  
  
Oh. So, were you going to sleep in my hoodie, which is, and I am not going to forget this image for a long time, at half-mast?  
  
No. The zipper would be too cold and pokey on my skin.  
  
What were your plans then when it came time to go to sleep?  
  
I was going to take off the hoodie and then the problem would be solved.  
  
Ah. Should I go ahead and continue imagining you in our bed wearing nothing but my red pants?  
  
You should, yes.  
  
I like this image darling.  
  
Do you?  
  
Yes.  
  
I wish you were here to see it for yourself.  
  
Well, my imagination seems to be doing a good job of things.  
  
And what things is your imagination doing for you?  
  
Bringing me closer to you.  
  
Awwww. I wish I was closer to you right now.  
  
[Big inhale] And what would we be doing if you were here?  
  
Helping you get to sleep.  
  
How would you help me get to sleep?  
  
Well, first of all, I would have ordered the fries.  
  
[deep chuckle]  
  
But then, I suppose I would let you play with the zipper on your hoodie.  
  
I would mostly like to just look at you in the hoodie. And my pants.  
  
[Joking] So you want me to do like a sexy strut for you in your hotel room, is that all I am to you, just a hoodie-wearing hotel dancer?  
  
Not just that. You’re also my love.  
  
Yes, I...well, you have me there.  
  
My sexy hoodie wearing lover who I want to touch right now.  
  
[Stillness] Where do you want to touch me?  
  
I want to kiss you while sneaking my hand under the hoodie to touch your beautiful breasts.  
  
Unng. What a coincidence. I was wearing this thinking about you touching me like that.  
  
When were you thinking that?  
  
Right before you called. I summoned you.  
  
You did. So, were you in bed thinking about this?  
  
Yes.  
  
What else were you thinking about?  
  
I was thinking about what it would be like to have a penis.  
  
What do you think it would be like?  
  
I think it would feel good wiggling between my legs as I walked.  
  
Mmmm....what else?  
  
I think it would be awesome to have an erection.  
  
What makes you think that?  
  
Well, I know what it feels like when my clitoris is really hard and I’m very turned on. I imagine that having a penis is like that same feeling but even bigger in size. I would want to touch myself all the time.  
  
That’s fairly accurate. Where are you right now?  
  
I’m back in bed. You?  
  
In bed.  
  
Have you ever thought about what it’s like having a vagina or would you want to have one?  
  
Wow. That’s a good question. I’ve thought about what it might be like to have breasts and what it must be like to get a period. I don’t know that I’ve ever considered how it feels to have a vagina. What is it like?  
  
Oh, well, um. Hmmm. As far as the physical aspect, and breasts aside, and all the grooming maintenance bullshit society puts on us, it sure feels good to be wet between my legs. It feels good to ache down there. To want to unabashedly and instinctively grind on or against something. It feels good when the itch starts and the muscles tense and my clit gets hard and the nerves are firing. It feels good to have you sliding in me, giving me your love. It’s fun to go into my imagination and create naughty fantasies that make me even more wet and make me climax. It feels awesome to feel everything dripping. Even if I’m not having sex...just reading or watching a movie or something and I get turned on. I love dripping on my panties.  
  
[Astounded] Oh my god. Now I _do_ want a vagina.  
  
[laughs] I suppose that’s the downside to having a penis: having to hide your erection in public. As a woman I don’t have to hide anything. No one knows. I can be sitting in a meeting and feel the gushing start. It’s my own little secret. [laughs] I remember a friend of mine back in the day, she used to call it “creaming’  
  
Yes, I’ve heard it called that.  
  
Anyway, on the psychological side, when I was younger, I used to think that men only wanted women to get off on, that we were just warm folds for them, that sex, intercourse was only about their pleasure, and for some, sadly, that’s partially true. But, then, of course, I met you and all those illogical thoughts went out the window.  
  
What changed?  
  
I don’t know. All I know is that when I’m with you I feel nothing but your love for me, your attraction to me. I feel safe to be myself, I feel safe in your arms. When you make love to me, it seems like you’re there for MY pleasure.  
  
I am, yes. I love to give you pleasure. It gives _me_ pleasure.  
  
So, at some point, maybe the third or fourth time we were together, it hit me that my whole being, my whole _body_ was a sexual instrument, not just my vagina. And that if _you_ were there for my pleasure, then maybe I should figure out what pleases _me_ , rather than trying to just get the man off, which can be boring when it’s always one-sided. And having sex with you, I don’t know how to put this, it wasn’t just about you and your penis and what you need to come. It was about me being a receiver, too...that my being a receiver was just as important as you being a giver. Somehow I just realized how to let you in, how to be a welcoming host to your love with my body and have that be what sex is for me.  Being a receiver is one of the more glorious feelings in the world. To bring another human being into your body is, well, it’s a compliment to the giver, really. As you know, I only let the best in.

[Smiled exhale]

Does that make sense.  
  
It makes beautiful sense. It’s complex being a woman, isn’t it? [Silence] You’re incredible, you know that?  
  
Well, I’ve sort of taken us away from the sexy talk that was starting.  
  
No, no, you’ve enhanced it. I couldn’t love you more or be more aroused this far away from you.This might be the most intelligent phone sex ever.  
  
[Laughs] Thanks? [Pause] Tell me, on a scale of 1-10, 10 being I’m about to come, how turned on are you right now?  
  
6.  
  
Wow, really? I should get an award!  
  
Yes, you should. What would you like?  
  
I like it when you touch me.  
  
Where do you like to be touched?  
  
All over. I like it when you run your hands over me while we’re kissing.  
  
Ok. So, close your eyes.  
  
Yes, ok.  
  
I’m kissing you. I love the taste of your lips. I want to be inside your mouth. Will you open your mouth for me?  
  
[breathy] Yes.  
  
mmm...Yes, thank you. Your mouth is so warm, your lips are soft on mine. I’m licking the inside of your top lip. I'm sliding my hand down to your pretty little bottom.  
  
I like it when you do that.  
  
I’m opening your mouth wide with mine. I feel energy pooling in my belly every time you kiss me back. I really wish you were here so I could kiss you.  
  
Yes.  
  
You are such a good kisser. You kiss like it means something.  
  
mhhhnnn  
  
Are your eyes still closed?  
  
Yes.  
  
I want to give you my love so bad. Feel me through my pants. Do you feel how much I want to love you?  
  
Yes, it feels good.  
  
Your hand feels good.  
  
Mmmm  
  
I really like how sexy you look wearing my clothes. Imagining your breasts peeking out from the inside of my hoodie made me really hard.  
  
I thought it might.  
  
You really are so very sexy.  
  
So are you. I’m a lucky woman.  
  
I want to hear the zipper go down on the hoodie.  
  
Ok, hold on [zipper sound] There.  
  
Oh God. Sexy zipper sound. Keep the hoodie on.  
  
I will.  
  
I’m imagining your bare breasts framed by the grey sweatshirt, the cold zipper on your skin, making your nipples hard.  
  
It’s like you can see me!  
  
I wish I could. If I were there I would run my warm hands over your breasts and feel them on my palms. I love touching your soft skin.  
  
That would feel good. I’m imagining you kissing my neck.  
  
What I wouldn’t give to be sucking your earlobe.  
  
I love feeling your tongue in my ear, your breath all over me. [heavy exhale]  
  
Your voice is getting deeper.  
  
Is it?  
  
Yeah, it’s erotic.  
  
Well, then, Benedict, this is me and my deep voice saying I want to feel your naked chest on mine.  
  
[fabric sound] Ok, my shirt is off and I’ve got my arms wrapped around you. We’re kneeling on the bed together.  
  
I feel your big hands on my back. They feel good, so expressive. I feel so petite and tiny in your arms against your hard warm body.  
  
I’m running my hands up your neck and am holding your face close while I kiss you. Your breasts crushed against me makes me harder.  
  
I can feel your cock on my hip.  
  
I love it when you say ‘cock’  
  
Your cock feels nice on my hip. It makes me wet.  
  
mmmm. Are my pants that you’re wearing wet?  
  
Yes. I’m feeling myself through them. I’m drenched.  
  
I'm moving my hand down to feel for myself.  
  
I'm licking in between your voluptuous wet lips while you pet me.  
  
[breathless] Oh God. This is so good. I’ve never had phone sex before now.  
  
[Surprised] You haven’t?  
  
[Excited] No, it’s fun. A whole new world.  
  
A sexy magic carpet ride?  
  
That’s a fantasy for another time definitely.  
  
Kinky Disney World sex? I just booked us tickets.  
  
[chuckle] How close are you, 1-10?  
  
Mmm...7. You?  
  
7.  
  
Keep talking.  
  
I think I might just have to take you out of these pants.  
  
I want to feel your penis sliding between my legs.  
  
Ok. Are your pants off?  
  
Yes. Yours?  
  
Yes.  
  
Are you touching yourself?  
  
Yes.  
  
What are you doing?  
  
My right hand is stroking up and down, slowly, enjoying feeling myself. Enjoying what you're saying to me.  
  
Pretend it’s me stroking you. What do you like?  
  
I just like feeling you touching me there. It’s like with the kissing, you seem to really want to caress me.  
  
I do. I love the feel of your cockhead going in and out of my palm, moist and hard. I'm squeezing you tight.  
  
Oh God. 8.5. That’s hot.  
  
I love your pre-ejaculate. Are you wet?  
  
Oh yes, have been for a while.  
  
I really wish I was there to watch you touch yourself, maybe to lick you. Definitely to lick you. My mouth just wants to touch your cock. My tongue wants to lick. I can’t help myself.  
  
[heavy breathing.]  
  
I miss your body so much, Ben. I miss how much it turns me on. I’m thinking about your slick cock sliding between my thighs, over my clit. I’m looking at your face as you concentrate on rocking your hips over me. You’re so beautiful. Your fringe bobbing on your forehead. Your skin is dark next to the white sheets.  
  
[panting] Are you touching yourself?  
  
Yes.  
  
Tell me how.  What do you look like?  
  
Well, I’m lying on the bed with nothing on except the open hoodie. I’m running my hand over my breasts. My nipples are hard and really sensitive tonight, and when I pinch them I feel it in my clitoris. I’m thinking about you lying in bed half naked, shirt unbuttoned revealing your muscular chest, I want to straddle your chest and rub myself while you watch me.  
  
Oh God Yes! 9. Keep going.  
  
Now I’m rubbing myself, my clit is so hard and I’m dripping on your stomach  
  
Ohhhhh!  
  
There?  
  
Al--almost.  
  
I’m dripping on you and it flows down to the base of your cock. I’m sliding my sex over your stomach. Mmmm....this feels so good to have you watch me do this.  
  
You look so good touching yourself over me.  
  
I’m arching my back.  
  
[hissing] I’m running my hand between your breasts and down your stomach. Watching your wrist.  
  
Oh, that’s so hot. I’m grinding over you, my hand is moving faster on me. I have to have you in me. 9.5  
  
On top or on bottom?  
  
Top.  
  
I’m so hard right now. Come here.  
  
I’ve shifted back. I’ve got your cock in my hand. You’re so wet, Benedict.  
  
Nnnnng....[panting]  
  
You’re inside me now. Oh God, you’re so big. Oh! I’m rubbing my clit so ...fast.... Fuck me, Benedict.  
  
Oh shit you feel so good around me. I'm pulling your hips down over me while pushing in, pushing in. Tight. Hot. Wet. [grunting] I’m coming....  
  
Me, too....Ohhjesus-Benedict.Benedict.  
  
  
[panting]  
  
[panting]  
  
[groaning]  
  
[heavy breathing]  
  
  
Wow.  
  
  
Yeah.  
  
[breathing]  
  
[breathing]  
  
You ok my love?  
  
Yes. You?  
  
Mmm good...that was brilliant. Unexpected. I just called to say hello!  
  
And instead you got a "HELLO!"  
  
[Heavy exhaled chuckle]  
  
Hoo, that escalated quite quickly.  
  
What can I say, I’m an award-winner.  
  
[Laughs to self] I'm the luckiest man to have you for my lover.  
  
You can’t see it, but I’m smiling and I have my hand over my heart. Thank you.  
  
I can’t wait to see you again.  
  
You, too.  
  
[Pause]  
  
And I’m jealous.  
  
Jealous? Of what?  
  
That you can change the sheets at home easier than I can right now in my hotel room. Not without a little embarrassment, anyway.  
  
Got a little messy did we?  
  
It was worth it.  
  
Yes. It was.  
  
[Pause]  
  
I’m holding you.  
  
I’m holding you.  
  
I miss your smell.  
  
I miss your arms around me.  
  
[Pause]  
  
Good night my love. Sleep well.  
  
You, too, my sweet man.  
  
iloveyou/iloveyou  
  
  
-Click-

 


End file.
